Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A Bird for the Birds

It has been ages ... AGES ... since I have stepped foot near my blog.  Things have been crazy in my life and I don't adjust to drastic changes well.  For example, I traded in Nellie Mae (2001 Nissa Xterra) for Sasha (2007 Saturn Sky).  Sasha is fun to drive and totally impractical for hauling anything larger than my purse.  Why did I do this?  I got pissy about something at work.  I might have also had a few martinis when I was Internet window shopping for cars but I was one too many martinis in because of changes at work.

Changes at work led to martinis which led to buying a 2-seater convertible.  Another great story of how alcohol leads me to quick decisions.  I'm starting to realize I have a lot of those great stories in my life.  They are all a ton of fun, too!

Moving on.

I worked from home yesterday and during a short break to go check on my backyard garden I realized that the baby eggplant that had been there in the morning was gone.  Correction, it was not gone.  It was on the patio table.  With peck marks on it.

DAMN BIRDS!!!

I've had several baby eggplants over the past few weeks but none have matured and I never knew why.  Until yesterday.  I was furious at the birds in my yard.  So I shouted at them.

And it wasn't any kind of shouting.  I had transformed into Samuel L. Jackson in 'Snakes on a Plane'.

"MF birds ate my MF eggplants!"

I then proceeded to look each bird in the eye and give them the finger.  And that's when I realized I had just given the birds a bird.

And I felt ashamed.  Not that I had cursed loudly enough for my sweet, retired neighbors to hear me.  Not that I had sunk to the lowest levels of ladylike behavior.  And not because I was hating nature's creatures.

I was ashamed because I have become THAT person.  Everyone has that one (or several) neighbor who is just plain crazy and irrational.  Birds who eat my eggplants have figured out the way to make me THAT person.

Well played, birds.  Well played.

3 comments:

Gator said...

Awesome. You. Are. Awesome.

Carry on then! XO

Random Cathy said...

And where is the photo of said convertable???

Julie said...

I guess I should post a picture of Sasha.