At the grocery store the other day I was minding my own business in the lunch meat aisle. Nothing exciting happens in the lunch meat aisle.
Until I saw a lady taking a VERY long time to pick out a package of lunch meat. And then I saw her EAT LUNCH MEAT! She was opening the package, taking out a slice, and popping it in her mouth.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
So I stood there giving her the evil eye. I was a bit shocked. A bit grossed out, too. And I just thought, "Open one more package and I'm going to call the cops." Because, seriously, she was stealing and I didn't think grocery store management had the guts to take down a ruthless lunch-meat-eating-monster.
I ended up standing there for a very long time staring at her as she looked at EVERY. SINGLE. PACKAGE OF LUNCH MEAT. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and decided to do a drive by glaring. (Which is very effective in the grocery store.) As I got closer I had the chance to peak into this uncivilized woman's grocery cart. And you know what I found?!
A package of lunch meat that was sliced by the deli counter. Turns out, the lady was finishing her free sample of lunch meat that the counter gave her when I initially spotted her.
I'm guessing she just really likes lunch meat.