Sunday, June 10, 2012

Living with a Pecan Tree

I have a huge pecan tree on the side of my house.  Before you ask, I have no idea if the pecans (Pronounced "puh-cons" ... not "PEE-cans".  If you want to eat a PEE-can go back to communist Russia!) are any good because the f*!#%@ squirrels eat them.

However, the f*!#%@ squirrels many times have to knock the pecans out of the tree in order to get their grubby lil' paws on them.  And the tree is about 500 feet high.  So, when a pecan gets knocked off a limb the downward spiral causes the nut to increase in speed beyond what the regular gravitational pull would equate a pecan falling at.  In other words, the pecan hitting my roof sounds like a shot gun being fired into my house from about three feet away. 

So, if you have trouble waking up to an alarm I would suggest getting a pecan tree.  Saturday and Sunday mornings will never be the same.
Artist's rendition of a pecan hitting my roof.

1 comment:

Gator said...

Bahahahahaa! Poor Jules! You're like the crotchety old squirrel hating mad woman. I think an outdoor cheetah would quickly solve your squirrel discus olympics. Or I can come over for target practice :-) Both seem like fantastic and totally viable options. Good luck with those little bastards. Smooch.