Thursday, December 22, 2011

Reflecting

Sometimes I amaze myself at the type of person I’ve become.  From the sheltered life I had as a child to the wild years of college followed by the even wilder days at the ski resort to the young professional moving to a big city to now.  And “now” is pretty cool.  This person I have become is still confuddled (confused + befuddled) that I have survived all of life’s experiences.

I feel accomplished in my chosen profession and enjoy it (most days).  I have an amazing family who communicates openly and honestly (never have to question what they really meant to say).  My friends are absolute gems (priceless and pretty) and are cemented into my extended family (see the note regarding communication above).  I have been blessed with several opportunities that I have chosen to accept and am gaining the wisdom to understand how my perfect plan is not what God had planned for me.  I don’t believe God has predestined my life but I believe the Lord has bigger and better things laid out for me.  He lets me choose the path I want to take … and, at times, he persuades me to get back on track when I stray.  I feel so incredibly thankful that the plans I have built for myself are crumbling because my faith has led me to know that I really don’t know what I’m doing.  And that realization is how people grow up.

Having recently ended a year long relationship I’m surprised that my world has not shattered.  In fact, it has gotten so much better.  (Before I explain how it has gotten better this posting is no reflection on the pros and cons of my past relationship but the way I’m growing as a person.)  My friendships have grown stronger, the foundation of my family has proven to be solid, the focus on my goals are clearer, my entire support system is a lot larger than I could have hoped for, and my faith in what is unseen has never waivered.  I find that I’m becoming less afraid of the “what-ifs” and more excited about the adventures that are still waiting for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I was fully invested in my relationship and the break up really was a breaking of my heart.  However, I’m stronger in my beliefs, stronger in my friendships, and more grateful for the things that I have that are intangible.  I’m as giddy as a child on Christmas morning that has a large present under the tree with their name all over it.  I don’t know what that gift is yet but this feeling of excitement is pretty incredible and I couldn’t feel more loved or wanted than I do at this moment.