Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Real Fake Women

During my workout last night I was thinking about how outside influences (movies, music videos, advertisements, etc.) affect how women think about their bodies.  I know guys have their own set of issues but I have never been a guy so I can’t speak about their issues.  However, I’m sure they are along the same lines.

I could attack the whole consumerist culture we live in but I won’t (I’m tired and don’t care to get that deep or type that much).  So, I’ll attack two well known figures (pun intended): Barbie and Jessica Rabbit.

If Barbie were a real woman she would be six feet tall and 100 pounds.  Her measurements would be 39”/19”/33”.  If Barbie were real she would beg for back surgery.  She would also be called “hoochie” by the mean girls in school.

If Jessica Rabbit were a real person she would be six feet tall and 109 pounds (33% of that weight is from her boobs).  Her measurements would be 38”/17”/34” and her cup size is N.  The ratio of her legs to her top is 2.64.  If that were me or you our legs would go up to our nipples.  She would be called “freak” by the same mean girls in school.

If that’s not enough to scare you think about all of the horrible situations these ladies have been in.  Barbie is in a relationship with a metrosexual who keeps losing a leg, arm or head (at least my Ken dolls turned out that way).  She is also blamed for having an affair with a military man (G.I. Joe) who is half her size.  Nothing was ever confirmed but you heard the rumors going around the toy box.  And to top it off … she could never have tangle free hair.

Jessica Rabbit, while being married to a rabbit who adored her, never changed clothes.  She wore the same red cocktail dress and a size 1 shoe.  Speaking of her adoring husband, he couldn’t handle his liquor.  He was also mixed up in some murders and Jessica got thrown into the mix, too.  Jessica’s collagen-filled lips are probably sagging down to her knees by now.

So, I may not have the Hollywood body but at least I don’t have their issues.  I workout to have a healthy lifestyle and I enjoy how it makes me feel.  I may never have Barbie’s pink convertible but my hair is detangled and I may not have legs a mile long like Jessica Rabbit but at least I have a torso.

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